I am writing this little note in explanation of my views as an Black Conservative Independent. I get a lot of grief over my views on politics, welfare, and in life in general. I’m especially writing this for my Liberal Democrat friends and family. With any luck, reading this will help you to understand me a little more. Please note that I am not a professional writer!!!
I have only been called a “Nigger” twice in my lifetime. Once was as a child on the playground at school. I don’t really count that one because the 7-year-old that called me that didn’t understand the meaning of the word at the time. The second time, I was in my mid twenties and was in a bar brawl with a Caucasian female who thought she was tough and was trying to anger me more because she was loosing. That did the trick and it was quite a show considering I let my anger get the best of me and started acting like one!
People usually find this to be odd, but I’ve experienced more racism and hatred from my own Black Community then I ever have with any other community. I have been called an Uncle Tom, a Race Trader, a Sell Out, a Fake, a Wanna-Be-White-Bitch, an Aunt Jemima, a House Nigger, and so much more. I have been told that I am confused, that I’m a racist toward my own kind, that I am brainwashed, that I’m stupid, that I talk white, and that I need to “embrace my blackness”. Considering that my skin is a beautiful mocha brown, I do believe my blackness has embraced me!
To tell you the truth, I have a hard time understanding why I would be called all of these thing, but this is some of the reasons (excuses) that I have come up with.
-I speak proper English and don’t speak Ebonics, so I’m not Black enough.
-I went to college and didn’t drop out of school so I’m not Black enough.
-I’m not a famous sports player or rapper and didn’t give up on life when I didn’t become one, so I’m not Black enough.
-I work a job and don’t live off of welfare so I’m not Black enough.
-I don’t do any drugs, so I’m not Black enough.
-I don’t deal drugs and I’m not in a gang, so I’m not Black enough.
-I don’t have 2 or more “babies daddies”, so I’m not Black enough.
-I don’t keep having children so I can stay on welfare, so I am not Black enough.
-I don’t expect someone else to pay my way, so I’m not Black enough.
-I use common sense in everything I do, so I am not Black enough.
-I aspire to be something more that average and work hard to accomplish my goals, so I’m not Black enough.
-I don’t believe everything I am told and do research to establish my opinions, so I am not Black enough.
-I have a 4 bedroom 3 bath house in a nice neighborhood, so I’m not Black enough.
-I’m married to a Caucasian man and have a mixed race child, so I am not Black enough.
-I don’t blame every failure that I have in life on racism and learn from my mistakes, so I am not Black enough.
-I don’t pick my friends based on their race I pick them because we get along and I like them, so I’m not Black enough.
-I didn’t and will never vote for Obama
And the biggest one of them all…………..
-I pulled my head out of my behind, left the Democrat Party, and became an Independent.
Like most Black Americans, I was born into the Democrat Party. I say “born into” because you are literally a Democrat from birth. When you register, you register Democrat, and when you vote you always vote Democrat no matter what. You’re not expected to have an opinion or have a stance on any issues, just vote democrat and you’ll be fine. My Grandmother, who is still a Democrat Party ground pounder, took me to register as soon as I turned 18. I had the gall to ask, “What are these other parties about?”. She glared and told me”don’t worry about them, they are not for you and the Blacks”. So, I did what I was told.
When I went off to college, I decided that I would finish out my Freshman year and then enter the United States Navy. I have to admit, my eyes started opening once I got away from my family and my hometown of Tucson, Arizona. I started paying attention to politics and what was going on in the world because all of this stuff was now affecting me as an individual. The party that I had been born into started sounding more and more foreign and oppressive to me.
When I say foreign and oppressive, I mean I could no longer follow the Democrat Party blindly because I had too many questions about their way of doing things and their beliefs. I didn’t agree on their stance on stem cell research, I didn’t agree with the stance on abortion, and I definitely didn’t agree with the stance on the military and the war. I am a gun owner and fight to preserve the rights to own them. I also found myself disagreeing with the stance that we tax payers should be funding more welfare programs.
I didn’t want to be a part of keeping people dependent on the government, and that is what the Democrat Party does. I definitely don’t believe that you have to be a Democrat because you are Black. The reason I say that the Democrat Party is oppressive is because it teaches persons (especially minorities) that they can’t do any better for themselves and that relying on the government and its social programs is a way of life. How is anyone suppose to achieve anything in life if they’re too busy expecting the government and their socialist programs to take care of them?
Just so I am clear, I do know that people are going to need help from time to time. That was the original idea of the social programs, but now, it’s not a time to time thing. People are just plain lazy and at times, really don’t know any better because of the way they were raised. It’s called the dumbing down of society. I can’t stand knowing that my hard-earned tax dollars are paying for people who don’t want to work, that are bouncing from rehab to rehab, that are receiving more benefits than me (as a working person and tax payer) and have a drug habit. I even know people who have faked disabilities in order to not have to work. Why punish those who are working and paying taxes so that the ones who want to live off of others can live an easier lifestyle? I also believe we should have an express lane for death row. Democrats believe in killing of innocent babies, yet will protest to save the life of a death row inmate. I think that is kind of backwards, don’t you? I see no point in paying for someone ( a criminal of the worst kind) to live (in some cases better than others who have committed no crimes) when they’ve been sentenced to death.
My common sense views didn’t click with the Democrat Theology anymore, I became the White Sheep!
So here I am today taking flack for the way I think, talk, act, vote, and for my lifestyle, but to tell you the truth; they can keep calling me names and criticizing me! I love who I am and those who want to call me names and criticize me are only making me stronger and work harder! If you don’t like my views on Obama, then tell me one thing he’s done for you or the American people besides gracing us with his presence. If you don’t like my views on the Democrat Party (Originally the party of the Ku Klux Klan), then give me some intelligent reasons why you think it’s better than every other party, other than getting free stuff (nothing in this world is free, someone somewhere down the line is paying), calling me names, or saying I’m confused.
I love being an independent thinker. I love not being dependent on anyone or anything! I love not having to sit and wait on food stamps to come in once a month. I love being able to speak proper English because then people don’t think I’m ignorant and uneducated! I love that I stayed in school because it gave me the tools that I needed to get by in this life! I love being drug free because it helps me to see things clearly and able to function without hindrance. I love not being a drug dealer or gang banger, the only place that leads a person is to prison or the grave. A little secret for the thuggin’ gang bangers and drug dealers that think they’re so cool…. (Wearing your pants down to your knees is not sexy! It was started as a signal in the prison system by homosexuals in order to signal that they were available! Now don’t you feel stupid! Lol!!! If your going to wear it, promote it, and fly that flag, at the very least Know Your History!)
And thus, I become a Proud White Sheep of the Black Community! I think I will start a Club! LOL!!!
- Cain: ‘African Americans Brainwashed’ Into Voting Democrat (thewesternexperience.com)
- Growth of Black Conservatism in Tea Party at Center of New Documentary (prweb.com)
- Al Sharpton: “Authentically Black” Or An “Authentic” Black American Sell Out/Uncle Tom? (neosecularist.com)
- THINK For Yourself (nebraskaenergyobserver.wordpress.com)
- Rising Cain candidacy flips old narratives on politics and race (thehill.com)
- Rep. West: ‘I’m here as the modern day Harriet Tubman’ (thehill.com)
- Is Reverse Racism Still Racism If It’s Black Americans Being Racist? (If Not, Then What Do You Call It?) (neosecularist.com)
I find it funny that I would be addressing this topic in an actual publication, but it seems as though people want to try to use my background as a Porn Actress against me when they get mad, jealous, or angry; as a tool to try to insult me and put me down when it comes to my politics and views even though I have addressed this openly and publicly numerous times before in social media and in publications!
The whole thing seems very childish to me, as most people who try to use my background against me are either jealous, the biggest hypocrites, or have skeletons in their closet as well! They are usually ones who post pictures of themselves in bikini’s or scantily clad, post pics of others (male and female) scantily clad, drunken idiots, or holier than thou folks! I have NEVER made the claim of being a perfect person! In fact, if you didn’t know this little tidbit…. There are no perfect people in this world today; everyone sins in one way or another at one point in time. If you are looking for the perfect person, you will have to wait for the second coming of Christ so you may be waiting a while!
Most people who resort to this method act as if I have intentions on running for a major political office (which I have stated numerous times I am not interested in) or as if I were already a Senator, Congresswoman, or POTUS in need of being taken down! MYLANTA people! Just because I’m very vocal , opinionated, and have a sense of humor; does not mean I shouldn’t be able to have an opinion or speak my mind like everyone else because of a choice I made in my 20’s (and by the way, I am currently 40 years of age at this time)! People do grow up and people do change! It happens everyday believe it or not!
***A Brief Overview of My Adult Entertainment Life***
I entered the Adult Entertainment Industry as a Dancer aka Stripper when I was around 19 years of age. I was living on my own, paying my own way through college, and needed a job that would allow me to still attend school, study, and make money at the same time. Between the ages of 19 and 20 I was engaged, but it didn’t work out and I ended up being a single mother on my own. Stripping allowed me to work, continue my education, and be at home with my child all at the same time. Most people didn’t even know about my Stripping Career as I lived very “conservatively” outside of my work.
It was later at the age of 25 (1999) that I entered into the Adult Movie Industry. I had met my husband (who was also a Stripper at the time) and we had 6 children all together when our families were combined. We had friends already in that part of the industry, so it was very easy for us to get into at a higher billeted slot with major companies. At the time, it seemed to make more sense to make more money, work fewer hours, and spend more time with family at home. Again, same scenario! We were both still very conservative in our personal lives outside of work!
At that time we would commute to California for work, stay a few days, shoot our scenes, get paid, and come home. It was just a job to me, not who I was as a person. Work stayed separate from our private lives. We didn’t stay in the Porn World long. We didn’t care too much for that part of the industry, as most entertainers lived it as a lifestyle instead of it being just a job. In fact the last time I actually was on set and shot a film was in 2001. What most people fail to realize is: Anything afterward 2001 on my profile are actually compilations of old scenes that were sold to other companies later on, so the release dates look more current as they are published by the release date of the new companies film!
What many people don’t know is that not all of the Adult Industry Movie Companies are the same, and everyone’s experiences in that world (just like in the “regular world jobs” are different! Most of the horror stories you hear are stemming from the lower end producers, amateur porn companies, hit and run companies, and people calling themselves companies that are actually dealing in Prostitution and the Sex Slave Trade. The Major Companies that I worked for (such as Vivid, Elegant Angel, Evil Angel, and others) actually pretty well-regulated and require STD Testing every 28 to 30 days (which you pay for on your own through accredited companies such as AIM). If you do not have your up to date test you do not shoot your scene! (which makes it a lot safer than picking up a one-night-stand in a bar or other location). If you were high, drunk, or couldn’t do your job, you were sent home without pay! Most people think that all Strippers and Porn People do drugs! I didn’t do drugs back then and I still don’t to this very day!
There was no hanky panky on our sets it was all very professional, and we all did our jobs and went home. We as Adult Movie Actors and Actresses also have to show 2 forms of identification (social security card and drivers license) and are required to fill out W-9’s and/or W-2’s (depending on if you are a Contract Entertainer working full-time for a company or an Independent Contractor) and even pay taxes (unlike many people in the “regular” world)! Taxes are taken directly out of our checks just like any other job! The Industry also requires all actors to wear condoms for safety as well. The official law known as Measure B was passed in 2012, but most of the bigger companies were already practicing it. Are there screw-ups, bad things occurring, and horrible things happening in the Adult Entertainment Industry on the whole? YES! Is there drug and alcohol abuse and rape, YES! BUT…. The same thing occurs in the “real world”, even in our US Military and Government (that’s not an excuse either, it’s just fact)! I can only tell you about my personal experience in the Industry!
I have always been very open about my background as an Adult Entertainer, in fact I have written about it in other publications and my own Personal Facebook Page, Public Figure Page, and Entertainment Page numerous times! I also have no problem talking about my career when people private message me their questions as well! Everything is public, online, and easily accessible these days, so it’s not like it’s been buried or lost like Lois Lerner’s emails or the story on Benghazi! I can even be found on IMDb (the Internet Movie Data Base) and many other Public Websites if you really feel like digging! It is not a big secret that I keep hidden nor talk about! I have always answered question openly and honestly when it comes to my background. I also speak out against the atrocities and dangers of the Adult Entertainment Industry as often as I can as well!
People can be rude and cruel when they use a background such as mine against me. They want to keep harping on my past, yet overlook what I have done to change things, and have become in the present day! Some people have even gone as far as to tell me I was going to hell because of my past! My response to them is usually something like: “You and your hypocritical judgmental behind will get there before I do, so please save me a seat!” Lol! (I have a humorous side when it comes to this topic at times)!
I often get asked would I do things differently if I could go back in time. My answer would be NO! I have had numerous jobs and careers in my life and the Adult Entertainment Industry was just one of them! My past is what has made me the person I am today, and I wouldn’t change that for the world! What I do find very interesting is that; people will accept a Clergyman or a POTUS who has done and/or sold drugs, a Professional Athlete, Musician, Senator or Congressmen who has committed anywhere between domestic violence, fraud, and being a racist Klan Member and Dragon to murder; easier than they will accept someone who has an Adult Entertainment Career in their past!
For those people who want to continue to judge a person by their past without really knowing where they’ve been, who they are as a person, and where they are now in life; go right ahead! By all means keep being hypocritical and judgmental! Your opinions of me don’t pay my bills! In fact, I feel sorry for you! Not only are you only making yourselves look ignorant, you may be missing out on some of the best friends you ever could have had!
Oh and by the way….
If you’re going to come after me calling me a Hoe or any other various slang terms, please know that doesn’t phase me anymore! Also make sure you yourself don’t fit the definition as well! If memory serves me correctly, it is better to be a Plain Hoe rather than a Dumb Hoe! Lol! People (both male and female” are Hoe’s everyday in this life, it’s to what degree of a Hoe you are! Lol! “Regular People” go to clubs and various other places to pick up others, buy drinks and gifts, play on dating sites, etc… in order to get one to sleep with another. In essence that is still being paid for sex if you really look at it! The only difference between an Adult Entertainer and a “Regular Person” is the Adult Entertainer is getting paid a lot more, whereas a lot of “Regular Folks” are receiving way less in return or pumping it out for free! “Don’t hate the player, hate the game”! #RealTalk Lol!
“The past is the past. Don’t let it kill you. Get over the bad things that happened. It’s gone. People change. Memories remain. But it’s time to move on.” ― Unknown
Copyright Black Conservative Independent 2014 – All Rights Reserved